Today is the day to live. If I only had six months to live, I would have thrown a party for all my friends, neighbors, and relatives. It would be like having my own wake and being able to enjoy it. I certainly would not request all that sad music during my funeral. That is not me, and I don’t want anyone to cry just because I passed away to another world.
I want a band or DJ, see people dance, laugh and having fun. I don’t believe this is disrespectful for it is the way I live now. I have lived a long and good life. It has been up and down, but the trip has been great. I wouldn’t change a thing.

I gave a lot of thought to dying, what would happen to my children, whether I would die with grace and be a good role model. In my remaining time, I would get my affairs in order and spend as much time as possible with those I love best.
(Bev Parker, Naperville, IL, diagnosed in 1985 at age 40, recurrence in 2001)

Prior to my cancer diagnosis I was afraid of death. Looking at death in the face has made me less fearful. Do I want to die? No. Am I afraid of it anymore? No. I could get run over by a car tomorrow. If I knew I had only six months to live, I would ask that I not be told that. I would like to continue to hug my husband and kiss and hold my kids each and every day and night... as if it is the last time I will see them. After all, we never know when our day will come.
(Dawn, North Hollywood, CA, diagnosed in 2001 at age 47)

I thought I would kill a few people along the way but I never thought I would die.

I never thought that I would die right now but I do sometimes think about dying too young. If I only had six months to live I would travel and do volunteer projects spreading joy to as many as I could in that short period of time.
(Julie, diagnosed at age 26)

Whether it is a cancer, an auto accident, flying in an airplane, crossing a busy street, etc., I do not think about death. After a serious auto accident that I was in thirty-one years ago, I decided to live life to its fullest, one day at a time. If I knew that I had six months to live, I would make sure that everyone that is important to me knows the impact that they had on my life and how much I appreciate it. I would make a video for my children telling them the joy that they brought into my life, urging them to go on with their lives and that my love for them has no bounds, not even death.

I am not afraid of dying. I don’t look forward to the process but I’m not afraid of the afterlife. I have everything to look forward to and everything to gain. I think I would try to make the most of the time I had left without breaking the bank! I would want my family with me more and more. I would want to make things right with those I have hurt over the years and ask for forgiveness.

Facing my fears about death was the first step in releasing me from my fears about dying. It is the most liberating feeling. While I still have emotions and fear that crop up from dying, even from a car accident or something like that, I try to quiet the fears by seeing what it is I am afraid of and why. I break it down, “If I am afraid of death, why?” Am I afraid God will send me to hell, am I afraid my husband will be sad, lonely, marry too soon, marry someone better than me, be better off, or that my kids will be depressed and won’t miss me? Most fears are groundless, and fear in itself feeds fear and without breaking it down, fear will control a person’s life, which means it will feed the cancer vortex, which means you keep creating more fear, instead of creating health in your life. That is the greatest peril of fear.
(Beverly Vote, Lebanon, MO, diagnosed in 2002 at age 37)

If I knew I had only six months to live I would travel like crazy to all the places I’ve always wanted to go to and do the things on my “things to do before I die” list. The truth is that I would probably spend my time in treatment, even experimental treatments.

My partner was afraid I’ll die but I knew I won’t die overnight from this. If I had six months to live, I might do something stupid like my friend did. She cleaned her house and threw away all her old underwear before surgery, but she survived and regretted, because it was perfectly good underwear after all. Or I might clean my papers. I wish I would do something wonderful instead, travel perhaps to New Zealand, cook good food and invite all my friends.

I never felt I’d die; I felt it was a sign to get involved to help eradicate this disease.
(Deb Haggerty, diagnosed at age 51)

We all will die. But will we all really live in the time allotted to us? If I knew I had six months... I would travel with my family and waste a lot of money leaving them with some great memories.

I thought I might die. Even going under anesthesia twice was a fear. I told my family not to be sad for me if the worst happened, because I felt my life has already been so full, and I’ve been blessed beyond what I ever expected. This has been a time of renewal with relatives and friends telling me how much they care. Many sincere “I love yous” have been said.

Somehow it is very strange that it seems like only cancer patients are expected to fear death and think about death. What about other people? Do they live forever? Other people die as well. It is not a big difference; everybody dies after all and nobody knows when.
(Katariina Rautalahti, Järvenpää, Finland, diagnosed in 1999 at age 41)

I am a real pack rat. If I had only six months to live I would clean out my house. At one time I thought that I would be lying in my bed and my friends would come to visit me and so I purchased $600 worth of bedding. Now it is all worn out, and I don’t worry about it.
(Esther Matsubuchi, North Vancouver, BC)

I did think I might die. It scared the hell out of me, but the whole experience made me know that we are truly more than our physical bodies, and that death is a transition to something else. I am not so scared of death anymore, and I believe there are other dimensions of reality beyond the physical. In this sense, it was truly an amazing experience.

I know I will die as my disease is advanced. But for now I am well and continue to focus on my many blessings. I would like to learn to live each day with purpose and passion.

If I knew I had six months to live, I’d want to live it. I’d want to visit people I hadn’t seen for a long time and do things with the young people in my life.
(Cheryl Otting, Elkford, BC, diagnosed at age 2002 at age 53)

My house is in order and I cannot do anything... I am in God’s presence every moment.

I have decided that it is not important how long I live but how much I enjoy my life. I am much more afraid of being disfigured or disabled or debilitated.

I saw my life that I hadn’t lived yet literally flash before my eyes. Then I told myself that I had to beat it, because my husband and sons would not be able to handle life without me, and that was that. I would spend time writing some letters for the future to help my children go through important events in their future knowing I was still with them in spirit.

Sure, I’m going to die, I just don’t know when and don’t think about it. This isn’t something that we cancer survivors think about, ever. We are survivors, not dwellers.
(Jacqui, Courtenay, BC, diagnosed in 2002 at age 38)

I still feel very vulnerable and believe I might not conquer this disease. Some days I feel strong and other days (especially when I hear someone has died from breast cancer) I think it could be me next. Not a day passes by that I don’t have a mini panic attack, especially at night. But it passes and I wake up again the next day and I think, “I’ve been given one more day.”
(Catherine, Pointe Claire, QC, diagnosed in 2001 at age 39)

I still feel like I will die from this disease, even though all reports are fine right now. It is not something that I dwell on, and I don’t feel like I am being pessimistic but realistic. We are all terminal, when you get down to it. It is just that some of us have had to face our mortality sooner than others do.
(Peggy Scott, Waldorf MD, diagnosed in 2002 at age 46)

My priorities now have changed. I try to look at other people and consider that they might be going through something like I did. I still had to go to the grocery store, and I’d see dozens of people every day that had no idea I was facing my mortality. I try to keep these things in perspective. I’m not always successful, but I’m much more aware of what is important to me.
(Julie Austin, Little Rock, AR, diagnosed in 2000 at age 30)

The thought of dying is always in the back of my mind. If I do end up dying as a result of my cancer, at least I will feel that I did everything I could to make myself healthy. If I knew I had a short time to live, I would try to take a trip to somewhere I always wanted to go with my kids. I would spend as much time with them as possible and try to help them understand that I will love them forever. I want to live my life to the fullest to show them that there is life after cancer. But they know also that if I should die from this that I’m OK with it.

Successful pain management is a very important issue that greatly affects quality of life, especially in advanced cases.
(Dr. Barry J. Barclay, St. Albert, AB, lost his wife to breast cancer)

My six months would be filled with living, learning and loving.
(Heather Resnick, Thornhill, ON, diagnosed in 1997 at age 43)

If I knew I only had six months to live... I’d visit or write to all the people in my life to let them know what I appreciate about them, the gifts I see in them to share with the world, how they have touched my life, and to encourage them in the future. Maybe we should always be focused on these things anyway, whether we have six months to live or 80 years.

You come to realize just how short life is and that you really have no time to waste. You need to have fun every day. Enjoy life as much as you can.
(Jennifer, diagnosed in 2001 at age 27)

When I first heard the word cancer, I was physically sick and scared. For a few days, everything was a blur. My doctor told me not to look ahead but just go through each step. It worked.
(Cordelia Styles, Quesnel, BC)

If I only had six months to live… Certainly a trip to foreign countries or around the world might be nice, but I think I would spend that time just living each day, each moment, with every breath I had, caring about what is important to me and my family. Worrying what the world thinks just doesn’t matter. I guess you could say I’ve developed an attitude!
(Virginia, diagnosed in 2001 at age 57)

I found the thought of dying very frightening. It made me think of my mom and dad a lot.

Yes, I thought I might die if the cancer spread to other organs. I still wanted to fight it as best I could. If I had but 6 months to live then I know for certain that I would take the trips to see my children and grandchildren in their homes. That would make me very happy.

I know that my time on earth is limited. I make more decisions on my own. I make more choices. I know better what I want. If I had six months left, I would travel to the six continents and enjoy nature and the people.

The thought of it is incomprehensible to me.

My doctor said it well, “You must face your own death and come to terms with it.” Death is inevitable, and everyone must part eventually. I am not afraid to die, but I intend to stay around for a long time to come.
(Yvette, Victoria, BC, diagnosed in 2002 at age 47)

Make a list of things you want to do and do them. Throw or give away everything you don’t need. Simplify. Say “I love you.” Live.

I never thought I would die but I did examine death, and it helped me reorder my priorities to accomplish more important things for the rest of my life.

I thought I might die but I dismissed it the following day after talking to my mentor (also a survivor). A positive attitude and faith is what we need to carry us through the ordeal.

I was afraid. I was afraid of leaving those I loved, afraid of suffering in a hospital bed or being “out of it” if I was drugged for pain, and afraid of having those I loved have to “watch me die” little by little which, to me, is a senseless suffering. I didn’t and don’t want them to go through that.
(Laura, Navarra, Spain, diagnosed in 1998 at age 41)