Leila Peltosaari in 2007.

Dancing with Fear, my ninth book, was a therapeutic closure to my breast cancer but also a continuation of a journey. Compiling the entries and editing them from more than 2,000 pages to a book-size format with easy-to-read, brief chapters connected me to 125 “survivor sisters in the same boat” around the continent. Some have conquered second and third breast cancer while medical care advances for early detection and healing.

None of us knows about survival beyond today but cancer victims think about it even  more. Every pain and lump is a threat and a reminder. When cancer comes and leaves its “visiting card” as someone wrote, we become vulnerable. We value life even more and each ordinary day is a victory until we get used to them and cancer moves to memory.

I thought I had “paid my dues” with breast cancer of stage IIIB in 2000. It doesn’t work out that way but perhaps I should have and could have done something to have a healthy immune system and avoid cancer and what followed. Just when I thought I could restart my life with many happy plans, a disaster struck. I am now in a wheelchair, unable to walk or stand, while being treated for MS. The diagnosis is not sure and the doctors are trying to find out what’s wrong. I am hoping that time will come when I will be pain-free and heal. Many doctors have told me that once in every doctor's lifetime there comes a patient with a case so complicated that they cannot figure it out, and I am that one case. A dubious honor.

From time to time I will write briefly about breast cancer, MS and other things in this blog. A blog! Who would have thought of such a thing a decade ago? Now there are hundreds of millions of them and some 100,000 new ones started daily. What amazing things life has brought after I thought the end is near; blogs, another book – my latest one about my childhood in Finland – and recent hope that aggressive physiotherapy might help me. Best of all is my children and grandchildren. My children, an integral part of this journey, have been fortunately able to go on with their lives and their own adventures. They have recently brought to my world three wonderful grandchildren who are teaching me the joys of present moments,

Don't forget to have annual mammograms for peace of mind. Is your breast cancer safely behind you? What new adventures has your life brought you?