I will never forget the date of my surgery. I try to do something special on that day. Remember that breast cancer is not the death sentence it was once thought to be. If you get too stressed out, take it a day at a time. If this is too much, then half a day or even hour by hour. It does get easier as the years go by.

It’s common to feel a letdown after treatments are over. Most people expect to feel elated so this comes as a bit of a shock. Cancer is a very complicated disease. Don’t try to look for a cause. There is no one way to do it right. Try things and see what works for you.

I now feel that I can talk more freely about my cancers. In the past I never said anything because I was concerned about being labeled as a “sick person” or a person that was weak. I think all the publicity and education of the masses has helped all of us discuss cancer and our personal experiences more openly. During my three bouts with cancer, I watched the dust bunnies grow in my house. That really bothered me when I was younger, but you know, when I was being treated for breast cancer, it didn’t bother me at all. My advice to other women when they are diagnosed is, “If you don’t feel comfortable with anything your doctor says, or you think a doctor has not treated you promptly, go to another doctor. Do not give up—life is fragile and beautiful.”

Thinking back, as a mom of teenagers at the time, it’s hard, because life doesn’t stop. Finding time in their busy lives to try to talk to each child and have them understand was very hard. I prayed, worked on relaxation, visualization, and learning something about nutrition. It was almost Christmas time. I didn’t know what the year would bring, but I knew I would have Christmas, so that is what I concentrated on. As adults, my children have all told me that they really didn’t understand. I still did what Moms do, maybe only laying on the couch a little more.

No one told me the fatigue continues and
attacks when least expected. No one told me that I’d lose so much more than a breast; I lost all sensation, libido.
(Deb Haggerty, diagnosed at age 51)

After cancer I decided to continue my life as before. I also decided that I can take new challenges. This was the reason I joined the Aconcagua expedition. Seven European women with breast cancer history climbed Mount Aconcagua in February 2004. Everybody reached her own summit. Mine was at 5400 meters. For me this was a miracle since I did it between my 3rd and 4th chemo. I wanted to show that cancer does not have to destroy your dreams.
(Katariina Rautalahti, Järvenpää, Finland, diagnosed in 1999 at age 41, recurrence in 2003)

I kind of date my life now as before and after diagnosis. It gives me a perspective. Many people won’t reveal that they have cancer, but I don’t think that is smart. The support I received from my friends and family was incredible. I always thought I was independent and self-reliant, but I learned to accept help from others. This was not only really wonderful for me, but the
others also appreciated the opportunity to be helpful.

I’m not worked up about doing work anymore. That is the worst thing. When I am off work, I just want to play. Realistically, I can’t play all the time. Somebody has to vacuum. It is only through discipline that I do my chores.
(Deborah, diagnosed in 2002 at age 46)

My breast cancer is genetic. I feel this gene was triggered by stress. Being a single mother and going to University is stressful. I spent so many years in a stressful situation that it became normal to me. Only now that I am away from the situation do I see how busy and stressed I was. I worry about my daughter who is now 15. Will she have the gene? Will she develop breast cancer? Will she pass the gene to her children? How will this affect her future? I am on long term disability, constantly worried about money, still in treatment, and still struggle with my daily chores. My doctor appointments and treatments are endless. I wish I would have taken more time for myself prior to my diagnosis, but that was not a reality in my life. If I had known my cancer was genetic sooner I could have been involved in the “high risk screening clinic.” I never even heard of the clinic prior to my involvement in the genetic testing. I also feel people would have taken my concerns more seriously because they would be aware of my high risk. I hope these things will be in place for my daughter.
(Kathy Reeve, North Vancouver, BC, diagnosed in 2000 at age 32)

I celebrate each year that is my anniversary. I just like to celebrate any anniversary, I think! Inner strength is a key to staying healthy and to become involved in things other than yourself that keep you busy.

It has been almost 18 years since I was first diagnosed with cancer. Every day is a marvelous day, and my life is full and rich. Several members in my family have had cancer, including my son. I would have done nothing differently. I am just happy to be alive and look forward to the future. Our son is still living and so am I.

What is really strange about all this is the fact that I was one of about 12 people so far in my neighborhood to get some form of cancer, and I’m not the last. The day I finished radiation my good friend and next door neighbor got the diagnosis that she has pancreatic cancer. I keep wondering that had I bought a house somewhere else, would this be happening to me. It’s a scary thought that my house or my property or environment did this to me. And it’s all happening to people who have lived here 20 years or more.
(Linda Bryngelson, New Brighton, MN)

I still get choked up when I remember telling my 7-year-old son that I was sick. He had picked up on the mood in the home and had seen his father and me talking and crying. I didn’t know how much to tell him so I just said I was very sick. He asked me if I had cancer, which surprised me because I didn’t think he knew what that was. Then he asked me if I was going to die. I told him I was taking treatment and it would be a long year with me not feeling well, but I was going to try to get well again. I never knew before if I could endure a calamity. I never knew my potential for mental strength. I have become so absolute, so defined. I have come into myself in time to enjoy it.
(Catherine, Pointe Claire, QC, diagnosed in 2001 at age 39)

Going through breast cancer now for the third time, I’m not sure how to talk to my 2-year-old daughter about it so that she understands. She is very bright, perceptive and verbal. I know children are resilient so I’m sure she will be fine. I pray that this will be my last bout with cancer. I don’t want my daughter to look back on her childhood and have memories of her mom always being sick or weak or unable to participate in her activities. I want to be a fully active mom for her and give her my best.

The financial part is the hardest for me. Since I was off for eight months, I went through my savings. Being single, that means I have no financial security now. It’s just one thing after another. I think it might have been easier to deal with this whole process if I hadn’t had to worry every month about bills and how long treatment will take.
(Rita, Santa Clarita, CA)

I have felt very strongly about talking and keeping open with others regarding my cancer. I love to have all my friends join me in Run for the Cure races and shake hands with survivors I meet along the way. I talk openly to those who ask about what I have gone through. One positive from the illness was I got back my reading habits.
(Roberta R. Nordby, Redmond, WA, diagnosed in 1984 at age 29)

I don’t wear my cancer as a badge, but I don’t hide from it. I tell the truth if asked, but I don’t want to be identified as “Mary Schmidt, cancer survivor.” I do think that what we are doing to our environment has something to do with this disease. Now, I take care to eat foods that I know are grown or raised well. I’m lucky to live in a farming community, and I know the people who raise our beef, pork and
vegetables.

Today, anyone that knows me knows that I had breast cancer and what I did. I have been known to pull up my shirt and show the results of my reconstruction. I cannot tell you how many women—friends and strangers and even a few men—have been surprised to see that I am not scarred or disfigured. In fact, some say that they wish their real breasts looked like my new ones do. There is nothing that I could have done to prevent my breast cancer. The only thing I have changed since is becoming an advocate of mammograms and openly talking about my experience. I was in an auto accident 31 years prior to my diagnosis, in which my breasts smashed against the dashboard. My cancer was in exactly the same area. The calcification on the other breast was also in that impact area. I had nursed our son for nine months and was just weaning him when the accident occurred. I wish that there would be more research on the correlation between trauma and cancer.
(Helen B. Greenleaf)

Today, anyone that knows me knows that I had breast cancer and what I did. I have been known to pull up my shirt and show the results of my reconstruction. I cannot tell you how many women—friends and strangers and even a few men—have been surprised to see that I am not scarred or disfigured. In fact, some say that they wish their real breasts looked like my new ones do. There is nothing that I could have done to prevent my breast cancer. The only thing I have changed since is becoming an advocate of mammograms and openly talking about my experience. I was in an auto accident 31 years prior to my diagnosis, in which my breasts smashed against the dashboard. My cancer was in exactly the same area. The calcification on the other breast was also in that impact area. I had nursed our son for nine months and was just weaning him when the accident occurred. I wish that there would be more research on the correlation between trauma and cancer.
(Helen B. Greenleaf)

I was relieved. I wanted to move on. My hair, eyebrows and eyelashes are back. I’m feeling close to normal other than occasional bitterness in my mouth due to certain foods. I had worked for a health care company before starting my own business and was well exposed to information about breast cancer. I may have been more diligent about having mammograms more regularly. I believe my diet and lifestyle have had a positive impact despite the diagnosis. I was able to return to my routine and work more quickly than the surgeon had expected. For other women, I would recommend they seek as much information as they can before making decisions about surgery and treatments. I learned a lot through my research and continue to do so.

Just prior to my diagnosis there was a great deal of stress in my life. My husband had been very seriously ill and unable to work so we had no income. We had to sell our home and move. Following my surgery and radiation treatments I decided that from then on I would take at least 15 minutes a day just for myself and do something that I wanted to do. One day I started painting, first on old wine bottles and then wood, and I loved it. I read magazines and bought brushes and paints and just kept painting. That 15 minutes a day has now grown into a web-based decorative painting business that keeps both my husband and I busy. He builds all the furniture we sell and I hand-paint it all. Painting, doing something that I love and found I am good at, has become my therapy.
(Sherry Gaffney, diagnosed in 1989 at age 47)

I feel great. I don’t quite have the same strength as I used to, but I feel fine. I have no problems discussing my cancer to anyone who is interested. I have found from the beginning that it made it easier for me to talk about it. The love my family has for me made me feel so important, so loved, that I had to fight this thing.
(Carole, Victoria, BC, diagnosed at age 57)

I spread the word that I am a cancer survivor. I’m proud of it. I fought hard to be here, and I continue to fight to stay around for a long time. I enjoy life and don’t let the little things stress me out. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter if someone cut me off in traffic as long as it didn’t cause an accident. I’m going to celebrate my 5-year anniversary in a few months and I’m trying to get all my friends and family together to do the National Race for the Cure event with me. That way we can spend time together and give something back to the Breast Cancer community at the same time.
(Julie, diagnosed at age 26)

I spread the word that I am a cancer survivor. I’m proud of it. I fought hard to be here, and I continue to fight to stay around for a long time. I enjoy life and don’t let the little things stress me out. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter if someone cut me off in traffic as long as it didn’t cause an accident. I’m going to celebrate my 5-year anniversary in a few months and I’m trying to get all my friends and family together to do the National Race for the Cure event with me. That way we can spend time together and give something back to the Breast Cancer community at the same time.
(Julie, diagnosed at age 26)

Excessive stress, the environment, the food we are eating with so many preservatives, loaded with antibiotics and additives, surely cannot be healthy for us... I’ve also used a lot of sugar substitutes and have had an occasional diet soda or two. I wish I would have eaten less artificial sweeteners, foods with preservatives and refined sugar, and more organic and fresh foods. I also have been on antibiotics a great deal, took a birth control pill for over 20 years and I never had children, and I’ve read all that may also have contributed to contracting cancer. I was my own advocate, and I was a critical thinker during the time I was establishing my medical team and receiving treatments. All that and obtaining second opinions was key toward the successful outcome of my experience. I also advise women to network and find someone who is strong, positive, and assertive to be your mentor, guide, and friend.

It took me approximately eight years to recover from my wife Glenna’s death. Same for my then 9-year-old daughter. My strongest advice to survivors would be to get some kind of counseling or grief therapy. I did not do that and wish I had for both myself and my daughter.
(Dr. Barry J. Barclay, St. Albert, AB)

I feel great now, considering I am in my early 50s. I could stand to lose some weight, but healthwise all is great. I feel good, look good, and I am optimistic that I’ll live to be an old lady! I don’t dwell on why I got cancer. I believe it had a little to do with a lot of variables, the water in this area, probably my diet. I have always had weight management problems but I doubt if I would have done anything differently, and except for eating more “good” foods, I haven’t really changed anything.

It’s impossible for anyone to understand what one goes through with the mastectomy, chemo and radiation unless you’ve been there. I wouldn’t have understood if someone tried to explain it to me. I don’t celebrate the anniversary of diagnosis, but I do celebrate the anniversary of my operation to remove the cancer. As far as I’m concerned, the rest (chemo and radiation) was preventive maintenance.
(Joan Fox, Victoria, BC)

I never had pain due to the cancer. I just had pain due to the surgery and the healing process. I feel I got cancer because I was overweight. After my cancer, I lost 122 pounds by just watching my diet.
(Marilyn R. Prasow, Long Beach, CA, diagnosed in 2001 at age 60)

I feel great to have gone the route of treatment that I took. It sometimes seems like it was a lifetime ago that this happened. I always keep my head up. I am a survivor. I speak up for myself more, and I am not afraid to question anything or anyone. Having cancer gave me this power I didn’t know how to use.
(Kristina, diagnosed in 1995 at age 39)

I was a little nervous as well as glad that the treatments were over. I was nervous because now that I am done, the doctors are not actively treating me anymore. I feel that my cancer was in part due to a lot of stress. I did wonder what I did wrong with diet and lifestyle, but the oncologist says some things we have no control over. So I continue to eat right, exercise and pamper myself more often now. Word of caution: reading too much about breast cancer can at times make you more anxious and worried about your situation.
(Carolyn S. Olson, diagnosed at age 37)

The most difficult part, the time when I felt most alone and not understood, was when the treatments were over and I was expected to be back to normal. Normal became something else and I had to find a way to find out what my new normal would be. During the treatment period, people were calling me and visiting often, then it came to an almost abrupt stop as everyone got back to their own life, saying “it is over”—but I was left with a strange feeling of insecurity.
(Donna Tremblay, diagnosed in 1992 at age 33, recurrence in 1996)

I am convinced that body and mind are one and whole. I think that’s what cancer made me realize. I got cancer in a turbulent period of my life, a period in which I demanded too much from my body. I didn’t sleep enough, I was physically exhausted, but I continued my life. Now I know that I have a body that I have to respect. I listen to it. I had to learn to enjoy sleeping. It was hard to do, because to me, sleeping was a waste of time. Now I pamper myself and tuck myself in. And I take care of the food I eat.

Very tired a year after chemo. Since then, I had a major surgery, two blood clots in leg, shingles twice, my son left home for college, I went bankrupt, and moved to a small apartment. Then I broke my shoulder. Now I eat very healthy and try to walk. Am I happy? You bet!
(Cordelia Styles, Quesnel, BC)

The first book I read after my second cancer was Christopher Reeve’s Still Me. It was full of inspiration and hope. Then I read the story of Terry Fox. I attend breast cancer workshops all the time, and there is a clear link between diet, stress and the environment and breast cancer. Learning how to effectively deal with stress, controlling our diets and proper exercise will make a difference.
(Heather Resnick, Thornhill, ON, diagnosed in 1997 at age 43)

I felt anger. Why me, why now when I just started my own business, when I am too busy and have so many interesting things ahead? I was comforted that my sister had gone through breast cancer and felt almost guilty that hers was more serious than mine. I prayed in distress and promised to devote myself to volunteer work if I survive. I have conveniently forgotten my promises and life goes on. What more can I ask?

Calls from friends and family space out and they start making comments like “it is over.” But it wasn’t over for me. The treatment was the only thing that was over.
(Jennifer, diagnosed at age 27)

Knowing what’s ahead will relieve a lot of stress, so ask straightforward questions. Develop a positive attitude. And focus on things other than your disease.

I don’t know why I got it, it’s just something that happened. I don’t believe there is anything in my lifestyle that contributed to it, I did not bring it on myself. The anniversaries have all passed without remarks, I have mostly forgotten the dates.

I feel great right now. I have never felt better. I still see the oncologist every six months for three more years so that makes me feel good that I am checked thoroughly. There are so many factors that contribute to cancer: chemicals, pesticides, food additives, stress, diet, alcohol. Breast cancer is a very slow-growing cancer. I believe it started when I was in a destructive marriage. Young women need to be educated about breast cancer and how to prevent it.

(Back in 1974...) The Cancer Society sent a little old lady to visit me. She brought me a bra and a soft lightweight prosthesis to wear at home. I could not relate to her. I wanted to talk to someone like me, never found her. I became afraid to meet men. I became hostile so they would not hang around, and I would not have to tell them about my surgery. This went on for a couple of years until I finally met a really nice man, and it became time to tell him about my surgery. His reaction was wonderful, “Oh hell, I thought you were going to tell me you had your period.” That was a happy time, I discovered that if any man, and there had been several, had a problem, it was simply his problem, I was more than a breast. Too bad it took so long to figure it out. Before long my surgeon had me visiting other single young women in the hospital having mastectomies. I did this for several years. My then boyfriend, now my husband, usually went with me, and the women and their men had more questions for him than for me. They basically wanted to know if there was sex after mastectomy. Of course there is, eventually you get comfortable with who you are. Several months, even years after surgery you will feel pain, severe pain lasting for only a second, and it is frightening until someone tells you that these pains are announcing that those nerve ending have come back to life. This continues for a few years, and eventually when you feel one you just say, “Welcome back, you have been missed.”
(Gloria J. “Mimi” Winer, Point Pleasant, NY, diagnosed in 1974)

I don’t know how I got cancer, and that’s one of the mysteries. You can guess all you want, no one knows. Scary. The only thing that I would do differently before my diagnosis of cancer was to have a mammogram before kids and after each kid. I think my cancer would have shown up and perhaps we could have avoided chemo, but this is wishful thinking on my part.
(Jacqui, Courtenay, BC, diagnosed in 2002 at age 38)

My focus was on healing. As soon as my body had healed from surgery, I started doing very gentle exercises and then I would add more challenging ones. It was almost like taking baby steps and learning how to walk all over again. Slowly but surely. Then I started walking every day, no matter how sick I felt. I knew the walk and the fresh air would help to clear my head. I noticed that I was looking forward to my walks because they kept me focused on getting better. One day, in the middle of winter, I went for my daily walk, and on that particular day I enjoyed so much hearing the crunch of my footsteps on the fresh, clean snow. I felt the cold, brisk, winter air on my cheeks. It was wonderful to be out there, feeling again. I knew I was on the road to recovery.

I celebrate every anniversary with flowers—this year two flowers with one for good luck!
(Lorraine Zakaib, Kirkland, QC, diagnosed in 2002 at age 49)

I was angry that nothing was done to prevent breast cancer. I was angry that women have so few choices available to fight the cancer and not one is a cure. I felt that I had to become an advocate for other women, to find my voice and speak out, as my mother had never been able to do that. I couldn’t believe that researchers had not made any progress in finding the causes of breast cancer when it is well known that the soil, air, food, and drugs are polluted with chemicals, pesticides, hormones, and other carcinogenic products.

For recovery I listened to a relaxation tape and some music for five years when I went to bed.
(Esther Matsubuchi, North Vancouver, BC)

It seems backwards to me to depress and destroy your immune system at a time when you need it the most. I was so miserable with chemo that I opted not to have the fourth round. I took tamoxifen very reluctantly and decided 4 months into it that it was not for me. I took Raloxifen instead for another 3 months and then quit. Now I do yoga, I journal and eat better, and sometimes I exercise. I have trained to be a life coach and strategist and work with cancer survivors (in workshops, retreats and group coaching) to create a better life than before they were diagnosed. I just celebrated my 5-year anniversary.
(Janel Dolan Jones, Fort Worth, Texas)